Week 2.

[legionofmods]

[So far. So boring.

Not much has transpired since you’ve entered the legion’s domain - save for an associate of the good doctor making himself known to at least one of you. But that’s about to change as we move forward into the unknown.

This is where things start to get messy.]

(ooc: remember to reply to check-in before wednesday!)

Comments

[clawhands]

C'mon, you wouldn't kill a guy with glasses, would you?

[madmadam]

Those are my favorite ones to kill!

[clawhands]

[....]

I vote we crush the old lady. Who's with me?

[masterbreaker]

I'm with you, buddy. She tried to eat me!

[neednoaccuser]

Okay, but like. Who hasn't tried to eat a Lego?

[He's just saying.]

[clawhands]

Ew! What the heck is wrong with you weirdos?!

[also what the fuck is a lego]

[masterbreaker]

... We're a choking hazard dude, you trying to kill yourself?

[We Are, Bad Cop.]

[neednoaccuser]

Man, sometimes you just gotta choke on plastic for real before your tiny baby lizard brain understands that eating plastic is bad.

[madmadam]

Plastic is delicious with a little hot sauce.

[masterbreaker]

Humans are heckin' weird.

[startercar]

Not all humans, these are just lunatics who think eating plastic is a common pastime.

[Dennis is giving all of you a look of judgment from the sideline.]

[liv_nye_the_science_pi]

I note you didn't actually exclude yourself from that category.

[Though, in fairness.]

[She strongly suspects Dennis eats PASTE, not plastic.]

[startercar]

[Huffing paint thinner is way different than eating paste!]

You think I'm the kind of idiot who eats plastic? I have a refined palate.

[liv_nye_the_science_pi]

Plastic has to be refined, that's how it's made.

[She knows that's not what it means, but really, that was too easy.]

And don't worry, I believe you're an idiot in a myriad of unique ways.

[startercar]

You're an idiot, idiot. [In your face, bitch!] You shouldn't even be talking to me. What are you, forty-five?

[liv_nye_the_science_pi]

Scathing.

[Sorry Dennis, her intelligence is absolutely not an insecurity.]

Oh! Good guess. Wrong by close to ten years, but decent guess. I'd be flattered if you weren't a showboating egotist. But really, you should be proud, most middle-schoolers are much farther off estimating that kind of thing.

[startercar]

You sure are obsessed with me for someone who isn't fit to kiss the back of my hand, woman. [There's a vein in his head pulsing; he takes a deep breath through his teeth.] Go away, fool. I can judge plastic-eaters without your driveling input.

[liv_nye_the_science_pi]

Don't strain yourself, you don't want to run through your word-a-day calendar too quickly.

[At some point she might decide ignoring him will hurt his ego worse, but...]

[Nah, he's annoying. And doesn't even have the courtesy to be as witty as Peter. Must punch.]

Though I suppose I shouldn't begrudge you trying to get the most out of it before your inevitable demise.

...That means someone's definitely going to kill you, dear, sooner rather than later. If you haven't gotten that far in your calendar yet.

[startercar]

[His face turns red. Something strains in his neck. How dare she. Who does she think she is, this pitiful old unlovable bitch of a woman? Who does she think she is to even address him, him, the golden god, the treasure in his mother's eye, the king of the high school, him. His voice gets low and tight.]

For all you know, I'm carrying duct tape and zip ties on me right now just for people like you. Don't think I don't know anything about demise.

[liv_nye_the_science_pi]

[Oh my non-existent god, never before has she so fully understood the meaning of "like fish in a barrel."]

If we get into what you don't know, we'll be here all day, young man. But please, do go on painting that lovely target all over yourself.

[startercar]

A target? A target!

[Dennis is shouting now, having one of those bellowing tantrums that are so becoming on forty year-old dudes with no accomplishments.]

I told you once to get out of my sight, and here you are, you sniveling savage, you fool, trying to make conversation as if you have a goddamn thing to say. Be assured, oh, I'll make you assured, when the time comes you'll be the first to die here, and you'll beg for respite from my might. You'll fold, whimpering to the floor like the stupid little worm you are, pleading with your god to show mercy but no, you old bitch, you old bitch, I'll treat you only to fury!

[liv_nye_the_science_pi]

[That's honestly almost impressive. Liv actually takes a quiet half-step back, if only to get out of spittle range.]

My, you've got some impressive adequacy issues there.

[neednoaccuser]

. . . Weren't you worried about the copypasta I put on the computer last week? You really think you gonna get a leg up on sis here when you're a crybaby who can't recognize a meme?

[Like.]

[startercar]

WHAT THE FUCK IS A MEME?

[willheorwonthekins]

[Just sliiiides on in here.]

Wow! Sounds like you need to calm down! How about a cup of Wilkins Coffee™?

[He could care less about what's actually going on here, but he does have a mug of fresh coffee and a sales pitch.]